Rosie Roberts

Links

http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/coping.shtml - An informational website on the stages of grief and how to get help. Vera struggles with Charlie's death throughout the novel. Her pain ranges from guilt, to anger, to sadness.

http://www.avhotline.org/ - A website hotline for victims of abuse. Charlie's mother suffers serious abuse at the hands of his father, and no one has the courage to speak up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycle_of_abuse - A wikipedia page on the cycle of abuse. Charlie fears that he will become like his father and fall into a similar pattern. At one point in the book, he hits Vera.


http://www.aa.org/?Media=PlayFlash - The official website for Alcohlics Anoynmous. Vera's father was an alcohlic and Vera fears she may also become one, as she has turned to drinking at a young age already to cope with the loss of Charlie.

http://www.wikihow.com/Speak-Up - A how to page on speaking up. Vera can't bring herself to clear Charlie's name of the terrible things he's assumed to have done and is consumed by guilt. She even sees his ghost and she knows that if she speaks up, he won't be around anymore.

http://www.empoweringparents.com/Is-Your-Child-or-Teen-Hanging-Out-With-the-Wrong-Crowd.php - An article on how to stop your kids from hanging with the wrong crowd. When Charlie ditches Vera for a group of people who have a bad influence on him, she is unsure of how to handle the situation.

Silence and the Cycle of Abuse

Vera's father and mother both take the stance that silence is the best option when it comes to the abuse Charlie's mother is facing at the hands of her husband. Despite the fact that they're well aware of what's going on, they refuse to talk about it or make any effort to help. They suggest Vera just stay out of it.

Vera's parents both know that what's happening is wrong, but they won't do anything about it. They think that Charlie's mother doesn't want help, and if she did, she would seek it. But the truth of the matter is that victims of abuse rarely speak out against their attackers. Sometimes it takes someone else to stand up and say something. Her parents' silence just adds to the cycle of abuse.

The sad thing is that Vera's parents' choices (while fictional) are very real choices made by people everyday. Sometimes abuse goes unnoticed, but many times it doesn't. Even if it does, people rarely speak up.

Destiny (or Genetics)

Vera's father is desperate to instill the meaning of money into Vera. He wants her to realize how precious it is and how it can make things happen for her, such as college. As he tries to force this knowledge onto Vera, he also works hard to keep her away from her 'destiny' of being a drunk, as he was, or falling into the less than desirable job of stripping that her mother had. He, and Vera, believe that these unfortunate situations run in their family, and could very likely be passed onto Vera.

While I agree that the decisions that parents make affect the children, it is ultimately up to the child where their own life will end up. A history of bad decisions is not at all something you can blame on genetics. It is very much Nature vs. Nuture. Nature comes into play with certain traits, in this case possibly being impulsive. But nuture has an even larger effect. What you see every day and what you are raised with heavily influences who you are.

This is similar to Charlie's situation. His father is abusive, and Charlie believes he too will become abusive. By accepting this, he is almost guaranteeing that the cycle will repeat itself.

Just because you're in a bad situation, or you have been in the past doesn't mean you can't prevent it from happening again.

Juggling a Job and High School

To cope with her pain, Vera's father strongly suggests picking up more hours at work. She works at Pizza Pagoda, where she often finds herself making deliveries into the shady side of town. Vera openly admits that the job isn't exactly safe, but her father doesn't seem to mind. She also is fully aware that she might be overworking herself between school and her job.

Personally, I don't want a job right now. I'd have little free time between school and work and I would probably get overwhelmed fairly quickly. I don't know how people manage to deal with school work, work and free time. I'll admit to being lazy and I love my free time, but I don't see how anyone could keep up with it all. I suppose it's worth having the job experience and money, but I wouldn't want to sacrifice my time. Not to mention that most of the kids who are looking for a job right now are already striving for optimum success in high school, which means lots of AP work. Do you have a job? If you do, how do you keep your stress level under control?

The Right Thing to Do and the Wrong Thing to Do: High School Edition

In my fourth quarter book, Vera struggles with the recent death of her best friend, Charlie. She sees him everywhere in the form of many translucent ghostly Charlies. Her guilt eats away at her but she still denies having any knowledge of what happened. He's trying to get her to clear his name. But of what he wants to be cleared of hasn't been revealed yet.

Vera's reluctance to talk about Charlie and clear his name stems from her pain over his death, but it made me think about how kids are so reluctant to do the right thing. Whether it be speaking up about bullying or ignoring the struggles of a friend, kids are so worried about being labeled a snitch that they rarely speak up about anything. In the realm of high school, it's a general rule that you don't give up any information about anyone. Acting ignorant is considered better than facing the consequences of ratting someone out.

Vera's situation made me wonder exactly how many people have suffered from no one speaking up or being wrongfully blamed. If we could find a way to lighten the pressures of being a 'snitch', maybe more people would speak up when they see something going downhill. By the world's typical standards of right and wrong, high school is an entirely different ball game.

Please Ignore Vera Dietz

For this quarter, I'm going to read Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A.S. King. My friends have said great things about it, so I'm going to give it a try.

Vera Dietz is in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn, or at least she was. Vera kept a lot of his secrets, despite the fact that he betrayed her. But Charlie dies under mysterious circumstances and Vera knows more about it than anyone else. It's up to Vera to clear Charlie's name, but will she?

I have to admit, this book isn't something I would normally read. The concept of being in love with your best friend is a little cliche, but it has an element of mystery. I'm intrigued and hopefully I'll be impressed!

Link Up!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Dessen - A wikipedia page dedicated to Sarah Dessen and her many works. It gives a brief list of her novels and information on a movie based off two of her books.

http://www.menuplanningcentral.com/articles/family-dinner.html - A page on the importance of family dinners. Mclean never has dinner with her father at home, and she enjoys it when she has a family dinner with Riley's family.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basketball_moves - A wikipedia list of basketball moves. Mclean loves basketball and frequently references certain moves.

http://www.tattoofinder.com/ - A page that is dedicated to pictures of different tattoos. Dave and Riley have matching tattoos, which Mclean is fascinated by.

http://www.divorcesource.com/archives/counseling.shtml - A webpage for divorced families. Mclean's parents are divorced, which takes a toll on her.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/divorce.html - A page targeted at kids whose parents have divorced or are going through a divorce. Mclean is often at odds with her mother, who she blames for her parents' separation.

http://www.wikihow.com/Handle-Moving - A guide on how to handle moving. Mclean is always traveling with her father, due to his transient job. It mentions moving as a chance to change yourself, which Mclean often does.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gifted_education - A wiki page on gifted children. Dave's parents push him to strive in school because he's considered to be gifted. It mentions different methods of helping a gifted student reach their potential.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends - A guide to making friends. Mclean doesn't have a difficult time making friends, but since she's used to moving, she rarely makes real ones because she won't be around for long.

Family Dinners

Mclean's life with her divorced father has made her a stranger to family meals. She usually ends up eating at the restaurant he's working at or eating alone because he comes home late. Mclean's new friend, Riley, invites her to her house, along with their other friends, for a family dinner. They all enjoy spending time together and it's implied that the other friends rarely partake in family dinners at their own house.

I always eat dinner at the table with my family. It seems a little strange to me that other people don't. I've heard plenty of speeches from different sources on how eating dinner together improves family relationships and other aspects of life. Improving your relationship with your family can make you happier which is an overall benefit to you. I can't imagine just eating in my bedroom or alone somewhere in the house. It just seems sad and lonely for a family to be distant like that.

Do you actually eat family dinners together? Do you think there's any truth to the whole -eat-dinner-together-and-improve-your-life mantra?

What Happened to Goodbye?

Mclean is no stranger to moving. Throughout her high school years, she has moved multiple times, which uproots the life and friends that she has there. In order to deal with this, Mclean makes a habit of not getting attached. She comes up with different variations of her middle name and different personalities every time she moves. She doesn't make any real relationships so that when she moves, it'll be easier on her. She often leaves suddenly, so she never says goodbye. This is where the title of the book comes in, What Happened to Goodbye.

I think this represents the theme of the book because Mclean has really been all about not getting attached to anything or anyone, so she never says goodbye. But when she moves to Lakeview, she makes real friends and comes to realize she doesn't want to leave. Mclean's life has been all about nothing ever being constant, and things always changing. When she finally does start to have constants in her life, she doesn't want to say goodbye because she doesn't want to leave.

Advanced Placement in School

The love interest of the main character of my book is Dave Wade, a genius. His parents are both scientists and encourage him to excel in school. For most of his life, Dave wanted nothing more than to please his parents, which meant attending a private school and keeping to himself. But when his senior year of high school rolled around, he decided he wanted to live a little. He begged his parents to enroll him in public high school. They finally did, as long as he promised to keep his grades up.

Dave takes his new found freedom very seriously and views it as a chance to experience the things he never got to. The first time he has a beer at a party, the police catch him. His parents immediately start restricting him more than they did before. When he reveals this to Mclean, she's shocked that he's never really had a chance to be a kid and be a little reckless. He then tells her that he had enough credits to graduate high school after his freshman year because of all the supplement classes his parents encouraged him to take.

This made me think about parents who push their kids and the 'overachievers' that graduate early. Is it really better to have such a head start? To push your kids beyond their childhood and into their young adult years? In my opinion, it affects their emotional maturity. If they were never kids who were irresponsible and made mistakes, then how are they supposed to be responsible adults?

Tattoos

As I get farther into What Happened to Goodbye, Mclean frequently mentions matching tattoos that two of her new friends, Riley and Dave, have. It's a simple black circle on their wrists and it seems to hold a lot of meaning to both of them, or it used to. Deb, another friend, asks about it and doesn't get a direct answer. Deb then says that she's thought about getting a tattoo before but she hasn't yet found something she's passionate about to inspire a tattoo.



I've never been a big fan of tattoos and I don't think I'll ever get one. But I think that they can look amazing on other people, especially if they have a sentimental meaning. I've seen special quotes, song lyrics, tributes to lost loved ones, and some that are completely pointless and the result of a bad decision.

I think that if someone wants to get a tattoo, they should be sure that they want it because they'll be stuck with it forever. There's also the issue of getting what you pay for, so they should try to find a competent artist and be willing to pay extra for their work. Would you ever get a tattoo? If so, of what?

What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen

For this quarter, I'm reading What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen. The book focuses on Mclean Sweet, a teenager to which moving to a new city has become routine. Each time she moves, she makes a point to transform herself, even giving herself a new name.

Mclean's life is upturned when her mother falls in love with another man who happens to work for her father's favorite basketball team. Mclean 'sides' with her dad, choosing to follow him as he travels from city to city transforming restaurants that are going under. So far Mclean has struggled with family drama, restaurant drama, a mysterious guy named Dave, trying to decide where she fits in, and the odd urge shto be herself instead of a variation of the many personalities she's used before.